A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize