I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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