do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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