i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
