i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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