Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
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