We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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