Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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