Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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