I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize