Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
