What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
