none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
