Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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