Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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