i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
