Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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