I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm too high and old for this...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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