he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
