I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
