Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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