It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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