I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
