just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
