like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
