Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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