I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
