Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
