benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize