then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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