I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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