It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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