...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm too high and old for this...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize