And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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