i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
