Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
