you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
