If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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