You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
