Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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