i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
