Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
