I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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