I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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