Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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