Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
