she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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