sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
