I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
