i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
tell me about the fingering
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