If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
