I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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