why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
