I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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