found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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