CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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