Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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