just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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