nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
