And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
