hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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