Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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