apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
