uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
